This feels like a strange yet somber horror film, a la Zombieland, my entire body is under the covers, the industrial soul piercing fire alarm is screeching and flashing like paparazzi and I have my headphones on attempting to hide….blasting Elton John’s greatest hits, starting with ‘goodbye yellow brick road’. That, or this is my ending scene of a personal titanic.
Sigh, and they said until 4 pm, I just need a little more sleep. : {
so, i saw ‘the hunger games’ last night and it wasn’t that great. way too much compacted into 2.5 hrs. i didn’t read the book but i hope my 10+ friends who are, like what they get. honestly. this movie, tho, had almost the compaction of ‘red tails’ but at least that movie was necessary.
the hunger games:
..the end.
***update***
SO. i just found out that people are mad that Rue was black. they were mad. that. Rue was black. the first thing i noticed was the predominately white cast and how unrealistic that was. no one’s going to be that white (blonde and pale) in 100 years, which is when i think this movie takes place. please stop.
Rrrrr.
i feel people should be whatever they want to be, choice or not. [my liberal side].
the part i’ve never understood, tho, is why anyone would want to tell their guardian who they want to have sex with. [the complication].
i just don’t understand why that’s appropriate.. or even matters. [my heavier conservative side].
if, then, it’s not about who you like to have sex with or if you’re not having sex with the person, how is it considered lgbt..?
ever since forever i’ve known that my life would be complicated. since even when things were the easiest and farthest from complicated. but then, i have to think, was it destined that i would be around things so complex, or was it that, through thought, i. made. my. destiny. ?
..but rarely what you’re wanting for tho, it takes much more than a thought. just as rarely will something find you that didn’t know it was wanting or looking for you.”
last night i had a nightmare. one so bad that i woke up insanely stressed. but, all i could remember was the thing coming out of a room, out of a door that i was trying to keep shut. finally as someone came to help, they asked ‘what type of creature is this?’ i said, ‘…..it is a spirit’. and, we tried ever more strenuously to keep that door shut.
so i just realized that so many people are obsessed with astrology and so many people believe in the big bang.. which the two overlap too much for how impossible the two ideas can be held at the same time.
probably thinking of this because i finally found a mural that i randomly saw the other day while i was riding the bus, can’t even remember where to, but i could remember “philip johnson mural crenshaw blvd spiritual”. so i googled that and found:
The quote that accompanies the mural is:
“Have we forgotten that we are spiritual beings having a human experience? In a universe created in harmony, conflict is a creation of your own mind. You have all that you need within you. What are you waiting for? FREE YOUR MIND!”
which reminded me of a quote from a new friend, “we are spiritual beings on a human adventure”. so i called him when i found the entire quote from the mural and soon enough i’ll have who gave it to him.
[connecting the dots].
[completely vulnerable because that is the only way to love, the only way to live].
![[interesting.. last week at work i did a doodle of a lightbulb that was off, floating in the sky upside down connected to plants..very interesting that i just found this in my dash.]
[via missjijy:day ninety three - explored! (by Chad Stetson)]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvh4m3dALg1qadvnxo1_500.jpg)
[interesting.. last week at work i did a doodle of a lightbulb that was off, floating in the sky upside down connected to plants..very interesting that i just found this in my dash.]
[via missjijy:day ninety three - explored! (by Chad Stetson)]
i don’t like making friends because the last thing i want is to lose one.
i guess i kept busy for so many years because i didn’t want to fall in love. the one thing on earth that i want. because it can hurt so bad until you figure it out. whenever that is.
so i want to get back to work, this year off has shown me so much. but now, the reason i want to work, to be busy, feels like a cop out.
i’m stuck.
![[visual ode to my time in nyc last year before moving here. this is exactly what that memory feels like.]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv3b1uLlEy1qauw4ho1_1280.jpg)
you always have to step out on faith. when you forget that, you could have a year like my past last. but just to have an amazing two weeks out of the last sixty is an amazing thing. today i received an album i worked on over a year ago and i’m beyond happy to have received it. some of the songs, we had to learn for a festival in nyc that i told ya’ll about forever ago, and we auditioned against the 10 other schools that came and we got a solo on every song..including the one i auditioned for. others of the songs were from our main repertoire. but the other other part is that i like to film random things. and one of those random things was the sun rising on our ride from nc to ny. this footage, originally just to go into the depths of my random footage for myself, seemed to fit a song i was heavily listening to at the time, ‘Sinnerman’ by Nina Simone. and a video was birthed. now, almost two years old, only about 10 people have seen it. and not until today did i plan to change that. it became one of those things where i wanted to show people but i didn’t feel people would be as interested as i was, as i am, in some of the most random things and how they connect. but today i realized such is the life of a creator. i have to try to do things that are intesting to others but the longer i keep my own interests away the faster it dies. so here. it. is.
the two guys who are the shadows didn’t even know i filmed them sleeping but they’re an amazing bass and guitar player..hope they didn’t mind. mmm. i’ll tell them one day.
the name of the movie is ‘tryon’ and the title’s explained at the end of the video..
